Mother’s Nature: “What kind of mom was I?” She asked.
“Please forgive me,” I said, “as I boldly correct you:
‘What kind of mom AM I?’ She asked…
Present tense. You never stopped and never will stop being my mom. Even after your physical body leaves this plane, you will continue, forever, to be the mother that gave of herself, from her very essence, so that I might live. You will live on in me and my children and their children, too; even long after that: it’s not just your genetic material that will continue but also your hopes, your ideas and your dreams for the better world that you boldly stand for in every cell of your being…
You are STRENGTH. In the face of opposition and difficulty, you never give-up. You search for a way to survive the battles of life, always brushing away the dirt, standing back up to move on no matter how battered, how torn. When war ripped you away from all you loved and knew, you kept moving forward, searching to find your way through the pain and separation…always finding a new way, never allowing yourself defeat. You always rise above the status quo to name your own truth, which you stand for in firmness – whether openly or secretly.
You are you, through and through and you never sell that for a paltry price.
You are a PIONEER. You break new ground, never looking back nor allowing the past to shackle you. The borders you have crossed – some geographical, some cultural, others personal – have always fueled you to move forward in the way you deem valuable. You face the unknown without cowering as only the bravest adventurer can hope for. Each footstep in uncharted territory becomes your challenge that you strive to master.
You are a SELF-LEARNER/DISCOVERER. You don’t waste precious time waiting for approval but rather embark on your own to learn the new. It doesn’t matter if it’s a language, a way of life, a career, a skill, a sport or a friendship: you dig-in. You search for the resources you need to accomplish. If it seems impossible, you embrace the challenge the impossible names until you reach your goal. So that makes you…
RELIABLE. You will find a way. Period. When someone needs something, they know they can count on you: not stopping at “no”, going the “extra nine yards”. If it’s last minute, you push. For yourself there’s no slack.
…you will continue, forever, to be the mother that gave of herself, from her very essence, so that I might live.
You have HIGH STANDARDS. Although you may “settle” for something, you know it. You aren’t content when you know there is “better” so you strive to be that better with all your might.
You are PATIENT. Maybe you don’t think of yourself that way but I do. You hold-out in many a dreary situation in which a weaker soul may simply throw his/her hands up. Your staying-power supports you through even the most (seemingly) hopeless situations. You are a “hanger-in-there”.
You are FAIR and JUST. Personal biases have no say with you nor for those engaged with you. You weigh, you balance and aim for the truth, not letting preferences slant your view. You try to recognize differences and account for them. You put yourself in another’s shoes and imagine how they walk. If it’s not your style, so be it. But you never let that influence the outcome. You believe “to each his own” and you live by that.
You DON’T SELL YOURSELF. You would much rather accept the consequences than to pretend you are something you are not, just to gain. You will go without before you disgrace yourself to “get”. Forget politics. Forget social-climbing. Forget “businessmen on parade”. You are you, through and through and you never sell that for a paltry price.
You are COMPASSIONATE. You side with the underdog even if that means losing something you might otherwise gain. Your heart feels the pain and struggle in another’s heart and you try to make allowances. You sacrifice from yourself to make it easier for someone else and you risk at your own expense to help or protect those worthy of being helped, in your eyes.
There’s so much more, Mama. Forgive me if there’s something obvious or important I’ve missed – I’m sure there is. You are also funny, intelligent, brave, a creative thinker and a hard-worker. Let me add just “one more” to this short list of “what kind of” I think you are:
An IDEALIST. You see the world through the eye of perfection and I know you struggle to make sense of the incongruities and imperfection you see. You “see” a better world and do what you can to support that.
But, as you know, although we humans, gifted with the brain we have, are huge in one sense, in another we are minute. The variance of perspectives between 2 extremes is vast: if we cast a glance from where we stand, we see the view. But if we cast a glance from beyond where we stand, what is seen is The View…
To a better view, from no matter where we cast a glance…”
What is most memorable about your own mother’s nature? And if you are a mom, what is your special “mother’s nature” that you hope your child sees?